1972. This was the year when I was exposed to the Self Knowledge, the Atma Vidya for the first time ever. Forty five years have passed. The teachers, the teaching, the contemplations were serenely profound. Some time, in the same year, during the learning and the contemplation, I knew the search has ended as the seeker vanished into the Absolute Restfulness. The Life was/is no more the same. There is total tranquility in the midst of the macrocosmic changes.
The Wisdom, the Self-Knowledge is unique yet universal, Exclusive yet All-Inclusive. The play of the Infinite through the finite, the touch of the Immortality in and through the mortal names and forms became almost tangible, though ever Intangible.
That Wisdom, the Awareness that is the Nameless, the Formless Being, effortlessly continued to weave the magic of magnificence, the touch of the extraordinary in the ordinary in the never ending flow. The forty five long years have seen the touch of the Timeless, the majestic flow of the Immobile, the euphoric celebration of the stunning Inexplicable!
Yes, until the 22nd year of my life I was the nomad in the realm of the ignorance, like anybody else seeking, struggling, trying to explore and find a foothold in the deep ocean of changing waves and constantly shifting sands. When I went to the Guru, it was not a conscious decision but a vague meandering of a jungle stream – flowing, but never knowing why, or where to flow!
I just reached and He pointed out the reason of the compulsive seeking. The seeking was not because of the creation, the little body, the life, the perceptions or the thoughts as none of these have any need to seek and to find. The responsibility was squarely on me, the ‘I’! And without that ‘I’ the individuality, there is no question, questioning or conflict!
Lost in the questioning, seeking, challenging or even mindlessly suffering or sometimes enjoying - the questioner, the seeker, the challenger, the sufferer, or the occasional enjoyer forgets to look at himself, the ‘I’! The Guru is the one, who directs the search from the perceived creation to the perceiver. He re-directs the person from the questioned, challenged perceptions and the thoughts to the questioner the challenger – the ‘I’!
What a relief! The search is now limited to the home, away from the awesome mind boggling universe! That itself is the first hint of relief. And surprisingly, that too is the last where the idea of the first and the last, the question and the questioner, the known and the knower, the traveller and the destination melts away into the Being, the Self, the meaning of the word ‘I’, the Eternal, Infinite Existence!
Thereafter every perception, every sensation, every experience is meditation and no more the Meditation is an isolated specialized moment of experience! Every word a prayer, every action a worship, every movement a pilgrimage! One sees the ocean in a drop while using the drop in the ocean. In every moment there is the Eternity, and the Life moves on with infinite changes in the lap that is the All-pervasive changeless!
Thousands of words have flowed from the Silence as even the million movements from the Immobile Expanse! All have been put down in words – for forty five long years and are still continuing.
The following pages in the digital lap, shall have these writings - Maybe, for anyone to stumble upon, to find some echo of his/her own inner rumblings and ramblings in life. Every one searches for himself. Every one is a traveler. And every one is the destination.
The best part and the blessing is that here no conditions apply for one to be one’s own Self. Some conditions may need to be fulfilled to assume a role, but to ‘Be’ the Self, no conditions need to be fulfilled.
We shall see that more in detail later.